I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
