i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
