I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
