The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
