Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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