This is not my ceiling
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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