He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
