Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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