If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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