There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize