Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
