No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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