Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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