We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
