I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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