If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
