He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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