He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
zippers are such a cool invention
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I believe in your delicious
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
