Will you blow on my dice?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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