do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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