dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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