The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize