Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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