Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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