It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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