Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
