you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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