I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
