hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
