I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it's like iHOP with fire
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
