He kissed a someone with a penis
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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