I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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