Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
