Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
