honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
