I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
