so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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