I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
