She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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