then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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