i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have fence marks all over my body
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
