i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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