i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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