Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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