please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
