some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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