Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
