i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
