I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
