Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
