so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
