No subtext here. People are naked.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
