I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize