every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
