take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
