the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
